I've got to report another incident of God's favor on my life. I recently received a ticket for not wearing my seat belt. I know you've probably seen the signs that say "Click It, or Ticket". But I've always not worn my seat belt until I have the car in motion. I'm very weary of looking around in all my blind spots and a seat belt makes this very difficult. I'm so obsessed with over checking anytime I get out of parking since I had a little accident as a high school senior. (Sorry, Monica). I pulled out onto the street and BAM, ticket!
Anyways I had to go to court to challenge the ticket. I pray for unprecedented favor but as I walked into court there was the peace officer. He apparently loves to give out tickets because more than half of the offenders in the room were his assignments. The judge proceeds to roll call offender and officers. Down the list waiting my turn. I hear my name, "Hear, Sir." Officer stands and says, "Your Honor, I don't have paperwork on this assignment." He had papers on everyone except me? Amen. And the bailiff handed back my ticket and said,"Merry Christmas!"
How many times has someone pointed a finger at me to remind me that someone is watching?
I have such guilt that has intensified through the years. I still remember going to Thriftys as a kid and picking up an open cellophane pack of cards that had my favorite baseball player on top. To this day it bothers me that despite my parents warnings I took those cards. I told myself I would never do it again. I tried to find ways to forgive my youthful behavior. There was even a short time that I reasoned that it was because that card shop ripped me off so its just payback.
Later I worked in retail and I remember the first time I discovered that there were undercover security staff and the many ways they surveyed the store. I imagined that every time I saw them pick up a shoplifter I should have declared my crime. I never stole anything big, but I feel guilt for all the wrong things I've done and continue to do.
Tonight I heard about how much wrong David did in the Bible. The consequences for his behavior were harsh. Yet in the end he comes to recognize that God was there for him through it all. As our Father, He teaches us through life events and uses these moments to strengthen our relationship with Him.
That guilt I feel is me taking ownership of the wrongs I've done. I pray that with His guidance that I can find moments to repay those I've done wrong. I can't return those cards, but I can say I'm sorry and share with my son and daughters the story so they too can feel the glorious guilt from God.