How many times has someone pointed a finger at me to remind me that someone is watching?
I have such guilt that has intensified through the years. I still remember going to Thriftys as a kid and picking up an open cellophane pack of cards that had my favorite baseball player on top. To this day it bothers me that despite my parents warnings I took those cards. I told myself I would never do it again. I tried to find ways to forgive my youthful behavior. There was even a short time that I reasoned that it was because that card shop ripped me off so its just payback.
Later I worked in retail and I remember the first time I discovered that there were undercover security staff and the many ways they surveyed the store. I imagined that every time I saw them pick up a shoplifter I should have declared my crime. I never stole anything big, but I feel guilt for all the wrong things I've done and continue to do.
Tonight I heard about how much wrong David did in the Bible. The consequences for his behavior were harsh. Yet in the end he comes to recognize that God was there for him through it all. As our Father, He teaches us through life events and uses these moments to strengthen our relationship with Him.
That guilt I feel is me taking ownership of the wrongs I've done. I pray that with His guidance that I can find moments to repay those I've done wrong. I can't return those cards, but I can say I'm sorry and share with my son and daughters the story so they too can feel the glorious guilt from God.