I Can Drive You Crazy
What are three things that I do that drive you crazy? I ponder the closest relationships I've had in my life and I've analyzed the common events, discussions, and ideas that have broken each.
I am not a good friend, because in time, I will put myself and my needs before others. I believe that people like to be around me because initially I am generous with my time and energy. But I am a demanding person who will push others to maintain that high quality of effort. In time these demands lead to despise and regret because they don't want the status and expectations of a mature relationship.
I set boundries too late in a relationship, which come across as controlling. After enjoying an early, free spirit stroll through our dating, I know that asking for respect of my limits was not easy to savor. I know that when I abruptly put a halt to something that has been the norm, I can understand why she would dislike the change. I am terrible at explaining why these changes occur, but instead asked that she trust my decisions. Difficult to ask when your partner does not have the same vision.
Someone recently asked me if in our relationship did we bear the same yoke. Did we equally manage the same adversities? Did we put forth the same force against stressful and painful decisions? NO!
I am a capable man who thinks I can protect others, even with the self inflicted pains these struggles bring. I have made many bad decisions that almost balance out the good. Yet I still believed that I was in the right.
Only now do I humbly turn to those who have wisdom. Only now, in seeing my wife leave, do I see that I must turn to God and those He has strategically placed in my life to become a better servant for my family, my friends, and the community. "It is profitable for teaching, reproving, correcting, and training me in righteousness." 2 Timothy 3:16
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