"You have been given the power by God to take your heart off one thing and to set it on something else." Words from the end of the Love Dare. As I read in reverse I reflect on what I've learned about myself. In my marriage did I ever really know what love was? I was married to the most beautiful woman in the world. She would warm my heart with a slight touch, her generous laugh, or this smile that was both playful and sensual. But was that love? "...our hearts are so subject to change and so utterly untrustworthy, the Scriptures communicate a much stronger message than "follow your heart". I convinced myself that my feeling, that warmth that she provided for me, was enough to validate love. I have struggled mightily to maintain this condition, even as the touches, the laughter, and now the smile have drifted away. In my weakness I have prayed for forgiveness for those things that took her love from me. In this time I believe that God has opened my eyes to a different viewpoint of love. "Give me your heart, my son, and let your eyes delight in my ways." Proverbs 23:26. Is it that I gave so much control of my heart to her that I didn't see the full picture of what He has planned? As I come to know His love I better appreciate the warmth that comes from His gifts: my beautiful children, the wonderful people I've been able to associate with at work, the opportunities that have suddenly become available. In the darkness, His light directs me to love.
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